Okay, so a little back-story for those who don't know. Brett and I got married Sept. 12, 2009. We had talked about having kids before the wedding, and I didn't think that I wanted to have kids until we were past 30. I am just a little stuck in my ways, and I like sleep. Lots of it. For 8-10 hours at a time. So, I didn't think it would be a good idea. Welp, needless to say, we were both shocked when I got my first BFP about 3 weeks after the wedding. (BFP = internet terminology for Big Fat Positive, as a pregnancy test)
It is kind of funny how things like this can change your whole mindset. I hadn't thought that I wanted a baby so soon, but all of the sudden, I was so excited. I felt lucky that it had happened, and that I hadn't waited all that time to find out what I really wanted. It was quite surreal. We told my parents and Brett's parents pretty much right away.
Sidenote: I have to tell the story about when we told Brett's parents, because it was quite funny... So, we made a trip down there. I got a frame that said, "Just when you thought your heart was full, along comes a grandchild" and then I put a picture of the pregnancy test in there. Looking back, very cheesy... But at the time, it was cute. Well, we got to their house, and immediately told them we had a present for them and they needed to open it now. Dixi, being the sleuth that she is, took it and started yellling, "I know what it is! It's a picture. It's a picture of the wedding." Okay, Dixi... Joke is on you. Well, when she opened it, there are no words to describe her face. It took her a couple of seconds, and then she said, "Is this a 'freaking' joke?" But she didn't say freaking. And then she started crying. Good times.
Okay, so, back to the story. Your first pregnancy is interesting, because it is so simple and innocent. You never expect that you would have a miscarriage. At least I didn't. I am fairly healthy, and I have child-bearing hips. My mom or grandma never had one, and my grandma had 6, yes 6, kids by the time she was 26. Miscarriage never really crossed my mind. Well, unfortunately 2 weeks to the day after our positive pregnancy test, we had a natural miscarriage. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
After this, it took us several months to recover. Emotionally and physically. We talked a lot about if we were going to start trying again. Was it the right time? What about me being in school? Did we have enough money saved up? We actually went back and forth several times, but what we decided is this: The timing will never be perfect. There is always stuff in life that is going on. Yeah, I'm in school now, but I have the benefit of not working full time. So, there is a trade-off. So, in March 2010 we officially were TTC (trying to concieve).
We tried for 3 months by just guessing and trying to time it right, and stuff like that. Which, is fine, but the control freak in me wanted to do more (and know more about my body). So, the next month I started charting, using a basal body thermometer to know when I ovulate, doing OPKs (ovulation predictor kits), and such. It turns out I ovulate much later than I thought. So, first month charting, and what do we have??? Another BFP! Whoo hoo! That was July 18. My EDD (estimated due date) is March 29, 2011. **Here is a link to my "chart" if anyone wants to take a look at it. It is kind of interesting. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2f8545
Let me tell you, this has been a rollercoaster so far. Brett and I have both been so nervous thinking about "what-ifs". But, we just take it one day at a time. That is all you can do. I think part of me will always be scared of having another miscarriage, but there is nothing I can do about it. There is a common phrase that is said on a message board I go to, "Today I am pregnant and love my baby." That is all we can do, because what happens tomorrow is out of our control. And I am over 8 weeks now! It seems surreal. There are still not many people that know. We can't wait until we get to 12ish weeks to start telling people. We are taking a trip to MO on Sept. 17th, and we are going to tell Brett's family then. And, for the record, Aunt Kathy, you are right! Dixi is sworn to secrecy, so she can't confirm it... but we are totally knocked up and that is why we are coming in September. I want to know how you know... Is it just a hunch? I am very curious.
Well, I promise most posts won't be this long. That is our story that got us to where we are. I can't wait until more people are actually "in the know" and reading this.
Abby
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